me: All scientists are hipsters, that's why they wear glasses.

husband: No.

me: "I stopped working on electromagnetic induction. It was too current."

husband: No.

me: "I used to have a passion for oceanography but I got sick of talking about the mainstream."

husband: No!

me: "Of course I'm not a mathematician. Calculus-based models of the universe are SO derivative."

husband: ...

me: "I'm an expert on geothermal vents--"

husband: Oh my God.

me: "--They're probably too deep for you."