The one where Derek’s a barista who accidentally woos Stiles with latte art

hatteress:

For Daunt as a belated valentines failwolf (I feel I deserve extra points for failing at both Failwolf Friday AND Valentines – that takes skill, man).

Betaed by the amazing Verity, who, without a doubt, kept me from FUCKING THIS UP BEYOND ALL MEASURE, HOLY GOD. Bow to her coffee-making genius. BOW I SAY!

Points also go to Halffizzbin, who pointed out to me that this was a thing:

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Derek hears Stiles before he sees him, mostly because Stiles hasn’t yet learned how to enter The Halemouth without half falling through the door. He doesn’t let himself look up, instead surreptitiously taking down a mug from the shelf and adding a few pumps of hazelnut syrup. It’s absolutely because it’s the closest thing to hand and not because Stiles always moans a little bit around his first sip if Derek puts hazelnut in it.

“Dude!” Stiles says, and Derek looks up to find Stiles practically vibrating at the counter in front of him. “You gotta tell me about werewolf mating rituals!”

Derek fumbles hooking the portafilter, because Jesus. “What?”

Stiles uses his old, beaten laptop as an arm rest as he leans across the counter. Derek would feel sorry for the thing, but he knows it’s been through worse. Stiles wrote his first best-seller on that antique and it’s chugged on ever since. “Mating rituals,” Stiles says giddily, like he didn’t fry Derek’s brain with it the first time. “I need it for the ending of the Roth Trilogy.”

Derek leans over to grab a fresh bottle of milk from the fridge and when he straightens up, Stiles’ cheeks are a distracting pink. Derek feels mildly satisfied that talking about fucking mating rituals seems to affect him like a normal human being.

Stiles clears his throat. “But yeah – I’ve decided Leon and August are gonna have to go undercover as a mated pair and-“

“Leon and August?” Derek says before he can stop himself, twisting the cap off the jug. “Really?”

Stiles grins. “Fuck yes, really – I’ve been planning this shit since halfway through book one,” he says, and Derek has to swallow a little hard because that’s around the same time he’d started picturing Stiles’ two main characters as him and Stiles. “Speaking of,” Stiles says. “Is knotting a thing?”

Derek sloshes the milk everywhere.

Read More

GUYS.

GUYS.

GUYS.

YOU NEED TO READ THIS.

halffizzbin:

monkeyscandance:

“I knew I’d find you here!”
“What do you want, Laura?”
“It’s the Hogsmeade weekend before Halloween and my little brother is sitting alone in his common room and reads. It’s my duty as a big sister to intervene.”
“It’s a good book.”
“Oh my god, pack your things, we’re going to visit Honeydukes.”
—————————————————————————
More Harry Potter AU fanart: x | x | x

So I guess this little art ‘verse makes Derek a Hufflepuff and Stiles a Slytherin AKA MY OWN PRECIOUS HOGWARTS HEADCANON LET ME LOVE YOU MONKEYSCANDANCE.

AHHHH HUFFLEPUFF!DEREK MY HEART AHHH

halffizzbin:

monkeyscandance:

“I knew I’d find you here!”

“What do you want, Laura?”

“It’s the Hogsmeade weekend before Halloween and my little brother is sitting alone in his common room and reads. It’s my duty as a big sister to intervene.”

“It’s a good book.”

“Oh my god, pack your things, we’re going to visit Honeydukes.”

—————————————————————————

More Harry Potter AU fanart: x | x | x

So I guess this little art ‘verse makes Derek a Hufflepuff and Stiles a Slytherin AKA MY OWN PRECIOUS HOGWARTS HEADCANON LET ME LOVE YOU MONKEYSCANDANCE.

AHHHH HUFFLEPUFF!DEREK MY HEART AHHH

(via 1001-cranes)